A little slow on the draw

First of all let's clear some things up. Yes, I am aware of the fact that Portal has been out for a very long time. Yes, I am aware that most people who will have ever cared will have already read every review already out there; HOWEVER, I'm still gonna talk about it because I can't afford to buy games right now, and, let's face it, I'm basically doing this for myself under the assumption maybe 2 people will ever read anything on this page. So there.

Portal is not just good, it is great. It's tempting to just stop talking about it there because it's beyond most games in the sense that it really sucks you in. It has everything you could ever want in a game: Tutorials that don't make you feel like you're scraping your brain along the sidewalk, fast action that actually makes the player move quickly to get through sections (tell me how many puzzle-based games have that), and, perhaps this is just me, but Portal actually provides some scares.

Okay maybe "scares" is the wrong word. Let me replace that with "potentially frightening environments." It should not be scary to be playing a screen run through sewers with a gun that could open portals, it is scary because you (o come on, if this is a spoiler, you're farther behind then I am) are running for your life from a computer that is screaming it's going to kill you.

What Portal does better than most games these days is makes the player really part of the story. This really has been the closest game I've played to my beloved P.O.P.S.O.T. because I did not want to stop playing. Any game that has that ability is definitely going to gain a huge fan base like the one Portal has.

Your instructor's personality through the game was absolutely mind-blowing to me. The writers of this really knew what would be funny. Really knew what would make the player laugh or make him/her sad. Never in my life has a game made me literally laugh out loud the way Portal has.

This game also led me to a interesting revelation-- One thing that this game has in common with the aforementioned Prince is the stunning lack of humans. Maybe that's what sets the pace for a good feel of the game. I've read that the most potent feeling a human can have is loneliness. The attachment I felt to my lady in Prince of Persia was very similar to (if you can read this with a straight face) my "companion cube" i got toward the end of Portal. Obviously if a computer program can make you feel bad about throwing a virtual metal box into a virtual incinerator, clearly it has crossed some boundaries.

Or maybe it just makes us realize how alone we are as we peck at buttons on our computers for hours at a time.

O and by the way, if you are reading this and you are this far behind, go here: STEAM POWERED ONLINE for all your gaming. excitement.

Why?

In the big scheme of things, I suppose that is the biggest question, the thing that drives us. On a much smaller and much less philosophical (unless you're with a very specific crowd) plane, I give you Pokemon Silver.

This series is a staple to so many people (including myself), but I've never stopped to question why. WHY would I sit in my recliner for days at a time wandering around after team rocket? WHY would I go through the Mystic Cave, sapping health away from my lineup just to be killed by a Caterpie trying to escape? The answer is simple- because it sucks you in! Pokemon proves that you don't need flashy graphics or complicated combos to make a good game. It's all about making the player part of the action. Moreover, it's about putting him/her straight in the game. Making video games immerse the player obviously takes more than an Insert your name here feature.

Now I will be the first to observe that each Pokemon game is terribly similar to its predecessor, but I love this game. I don't know if it's because this was the last step before the Pokemon roster jumped from 250 to like... 2,230,006.5 (Pichu). Unfortunately now (I refuse to believe this is why it was around when I was young) Pokemon has just become a company. More Pokemon, more cards, more things for kids to buy, more money. How sad.

All bias aside however I must see the game itself this way: about three hours into the game, I realized that all I had done, literally the whole time, was push A. That's it. Fight? A. Run? A. Pick nose? A. How can a game that consists of one command button be so addicting??

I suppose the first element is the customization. To me it's attractive to know that no matter how you play the game, how many times, it will NEVER be the same. The levels and attacks and TMs lead to infinite possibilities. The map is fairly open. I mean you have to fight the gym leaders in order, but theoretically, you could wander around raising your Pokemon as high as you can. Even if you can't find the way to go, tall grass is always present.

Ultimately though, Pokemon is far from perfect. There is a point, usually the point where you're stuck an no massive amount of pushing A will get you unstuck, that the game loses its charm and you began to ask the question that sends so many video games to their doom: WHY? Then something snaps and you scream "NO Old Man! I don't want you to tell me how good my Pokemon's nicknames are, why don't you do something USEFUL with your life??? Why don't you learn where the next gym is? Or maybe you should learn some more English other than "Hello, would you like me to rate your nicknames"? Or hey, take up a craft, like weaponry! Then you can sell me something that will make fights much shorter. Maybe you can let me press B to cut your f'n head off."

But I digress

Yes, yes I know it's been a while, but the way I see it, people are only going to look back at this page when I'm rich and famous to see what foolishness I wasted my time on when I was young.

Ok it's this kind of nonsense that really turns me off of the "big three" in the Nintendo franchise. Seriously how much more ad time does Mario need? It kills the immersion of the game a little bit when Nintendo jumps out to remind me "hey remember this chump in the red hat and overalls?? We though of him! Just sayin." It is a completely unnecessary addition to the game. Maybe the developers of this game thought they were being clever when they put this in but it still seems like this is the same sort of character reminding that Disney uses when you walk into a hotel and 600,000 Mickey Mouses are staring back at you.

Anyways I got to the boss of the third pendant in the Zelda game. Still can't figure out how to kill the thing. Frustration is obviously key to a massive quest like this, but frankly, I'm not really sure I have the perseverance to push through any more. You see, I was honestly intrigued when this game started and my roomate or whatever he was died right away. However, considering I never knew his name, I gave up on the quest for revenge as a plot driver long ago. Link seems to be the guy that everyone knows, but he shows nothing to them. No emotion. No words even (except huh, hah, and hyah naturally). His stories would be just as interesting if you replaced him with a clown fish swinging a stick around.

HYAH!

1st Day: I was awakened from my sleep to find my… somebody who happened to live in my house with me, was leaving. I had a very strange dream about a princess who needed my help desperately. She seemed to be summoning me down to the dungeon of the castle where she was apparently being held captive by an evil wizard who had broken… some spell the 7 sages of long ago put on a tomb to conceal a dark magic. Once I found a secret passage to the dungeon, I found my roommate dying. He wished me luck and thanked me for the time we had spent together. (Note: Points for tugging on the heartstrings. Although I think I would be a little more motivated if the game had made it a little clearer who that guy was that I cared about very much.) Anyways I wandered through the dungeon and found Princess Zelda, sure enough, held prisoner by what I can only assume was the evil wizard’s henchmen. She told me of the only remaining sage who could help us and where he was. The secret tunnels, or should I say sewage tunnels, seemed a little unnecessary, but mad props to any princess who will trench through sewers. Apparently if I don’t save the day “Hyrule shall never again know peace.” Motivation much? Anyways I’m headed off to find the one sage.

Gaming in General

So here's the deal. I've been a semi-gamer most of my life. I never took had the money to get stuff as it comes out so it's usually just roaming the cheap stuff from gamestop or depend on good presents from family, but about a semester ago I played a game that completely changed my view on the gaming industry: Prince of Persia-Sands of Time. Yes, I am well aware that this game has been out for a very long time, but I think it's one of the best games ever. The experience and depth that it offers is just so out of the league of any other game I've played to date. About three fourths of the way through I literally could not stop playing. I was dying to know what was around the next corner. For the first time ever, the gameplay was actually just a way to further the story, instead of just a fun way to waste time, and I actually stood up out of my chair when the prince's love interest Farah, jumped (SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER) and then she (SOME MORE SPOILERS HERE YOU REALLY SHOULD JUST PLAY THE GAME) on her bum. Since then I've been in search of games that could measure up to the prince and with summer approaching, hopefully my gaming career will be able to bloom. The one good thing about being light years behind everyone in the gaming world is I already know where to point my nose. First up on the list (until I get back to some software that doesn't involve my computer and ancient downloads) is Link to the Past. This is the first game in the Zelda trilogy (although if you're reading this you probably already know that), and I will attempt to analyze it like Link is a brand new character to me. All bias aside, each game will have a fair chance to impress me and contend for the #1 spot that the Prince currently holds. This should be fun.